A while back, I posed this question to a FIRE subgroup on Reddit:
“What were you wrong about in the FIRE movement?”
The responses came flooding in, and 185 comments later, I knew I needed to bundle up some of the key takeaways to share. Here are 8 things that we got wrong about the FIRE movement.
1. I thought I wanted to retire early, but all I really wanted was financial independence and the ability to work flexibly on my terms.
When I first heard about the FIRE movement, I was enthralled by the idea that you could retire in your early 30’s and never have to work again. At the time, I was working my ass off as an electrician and fantasized all day about what it would be like never to have to put on the tool bags again. I would imagine myself waking up, not a care in the world, and doing whatever I wanted.
Fast forward to today, and one career change later—I can’t imagine never working again. I left my career as an electrician behind and pivoted to a career in financial services, a perfect fit for a money nerd like me. Now for me, work is incredibly rewarding, challenges me in all the right ways, and allows me to express myself creatively in exchange for money.
It took me a while to realize it, but financial independence was all I wanted. The ability to do what I want, when I want, with the people I want, for as long as I want was the goal—not retiring in my 30’s and never working again.
2. I thought everyone would be interested in FIRE, they just needed to understand it. It turns out, a lot of people don’t care about FIRE even after understanding it.
I can relate to this. Early in my FIRE journey, I was a man on a mission to proselytize the FIRE movement to anyone within earshot. I was so jacked about it that I once typed up a 2-page list of all the different financial skills you need to master to achieve financial independence, and brought copies to Thanksgiving dinner with the family. Hehe, sorry fam.
When the Playing With FIRE documentary came out, I bought it on Amazon and watched it with friends, eagerly asking them what they thought as soon as the movie was over. A couple of my friends admitted they had fallen asleep while the others expressed mild interest, surely to appease me. Oof.
At the end of the day, you’ve got to realize that not everyone is going to be interested in pursuing FIRE, even if it sounds like the most amazing idea you’ve ever heard. Like my wife and I always say: To each they own. Not everyone will be into the FIRE movement, even if they understand it completely, and that is OK.
3. I thought FIRE would make me happy, but I realized I just wasn’t happy with my current job and situation in life.
My guess is that this is the case for a lot of people. I was most passionate about pursuing FIRE when I was least happy with my job as an electrician. I was convinced that FIRE was the key to my happiness.
It turns out that I was just working in a career that didn’t align with my interests and was sticking it out because it seemed like the smart thing to do. Once I shifted gears and found work that excited me, happiness followed.
Now I still get to pursue FIRE and reach a state of future financial independence, but I get to enjoy it along the way with a smile on my face.
4. I thought you had to live a very lean life to be FIRE. Then I found that there’s a bunch of different types of fire, from fat FIRE to lean FIRE and everything in between.
This is another common misconception in the FIRE movement. But you don’t have to be ultra-frugal or live a lifestyle of deprivation to reach FIRE. Sure there are plenty of ultra-frugal types on the journey to FIRE, but there is also an entire community of Fat FIRE bougie types that live in multi-million dollar homes, take luxurious vacations and drive Lambos. I mean, I don’t know any, but there are 265k members in the r/fatfire group on Reddit who are aiming to “retire with a fat stash,” so I am guessing somebody has a Lambo.
In reality, like most things in life, the FIRE movement is a spectrum. You’ve got the Jacob Lund Fisker’s of the movement on one end, with Early Retirement Extreme living on the bare minimum and achieving FIRE in their 20’s, you’ve got Mr. Money Mustache, still very frugal but not quite Lund Fisker’s level, then Paula Pant with Afford Anything, who seems to live more in the middle, all the way up to the Fat FIRE crew who are living high on the hog.
It’s up to you to decide where you fit into this spectrum and design a FIRE plan and lifestyle that works. For me personally, I don’t want to force myself to live on $25k per year, but I also don’t need to spend $80 to 100k per year to live a happy life. The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle, and that’s OK.
5. I thought it was all about financial independence asap. Then I realized it’s about happiness asap and financial independence eventually.
Preach! This is the biggest thing people get mixed up about when pursuing FIRE. They think that in order to do it “right” they need to eat beans and rice three meals a day while moonlighting at the local bar after work and Turoing their car and renting out their extra rooms on Airbnb. Sure, that’ll get you to FI asap, but for what? I hate to break it to you but reaching FI will not bring you happiness. Happiness can be found along the way in the social connections you create and nurture, the challenges you overcome, the control you gain over your life, and the communities you’re part of.
Rather than focusing on being happy after FI, make it a priority to create joy and happiness in your life right now, and then just keep plugging away at this FI thing. There’s no rush—remember the tortoise and the hare?
6. I thought it would be easier. My partner isn’t on board and has over $200k in student loan debt.
This is tough. I feel for the person who shared this thought: It can’t be easy knowing that not only is your partner not on board, but they’ve got some serious financial baggage to bring to the table. I feel so lucky to have a partner that shares my same financial savvy and is also interested in achieving financial independence, and my heart hurts for those that know they want to reach FI, but can’t seem to get their partner on board.
Here is what I would do:
Read 4 Tips to Get Your Partner Excited About Fire and give it a shot.
Accept what is.
At a certain point, you have to come to terms with the reality of your financial situation, accept it for what it is, and move forward. If your partner is not on board and isn’t going to be, that’s OK. You can still pursue FIRE in your own way, as long as you strike a balance that works for you and your partner.
As far as the financial baggage goes—everybody looks at it differently, so you’ll have to determine what works for you, but the way I see it: When I got married, I decided to shift my mindset from ME to WE. For me and my partner, that applies to every aspect of life, including, and especially, our finances.
That doesn't mean that you need to accept your partner’s debt as your own and work through it with them, but rather that you need to sit down with your partner and get clear about what’s what and make sure you’re both on the same page. When it comes to couples and money there is no one right way to do it, as long as you both agree and are on board with it.
7. I thought I would live in spreadsheets forever. The first 2 years, I tracked every expense down to the penny—now it is muscle memory, and I'm 60% of the way to financial independence and on cruise control.
I’m so happy for this person to get out of the down-to-the-penny spreadsheet tracking lane and into the cruise control lane. While I personally never got too zoomed in on spreadsheet tracking (I actually don’t really enjoy spreadsheets at all) I did have my own journey of scrutinizing every expense early on. I think for many people on the path to FIRE it’s sort of a natural progression. You hear about the FIRE movement and all the amazing benefits that come with financial independence so you get super excited and dive in headfirst. You come out of the gates hot and are tracking every purchase, investment, and income source to a T. But over time, you begin to realize that this is a long journey, and you need to find more of a balance, so you ease up a bit and settle in for the long haul.
It’s like starting a marathon at a dead sprint: It’ll never last, but you won’t realize it until you gas out. Then, once you’re gassed, you can mellow out and settle into a nice pace.
In addition, I think over time you begin to develop a sort of muscle memory with your spending. It’s like anything—you repeat the same action month after month and eventually, it’s just a habit. Sticking to your budget and managing your spending is the same: Eventually, you get to a point where you spend the same amount of money without even trying, as your budget and natural spending levels become second nature to you.
8. I thought it wasn’t possible, so I didn’t even try. I missed out on investing in my 20’s and now I have to make up for the lost time.
Ouch. Please don’t let this be you. Your 20’s and 30’s are some of the most important years you have to get started saving and investing because of the power of compounding over long periods.
Think about it like this: You can either save a small amount in your 20’s and 30's, or you can wait till your 50’s and then save much much more to reach the same point. Plain and simple, the earlier you start saving and investing for retirement, the easier it is to get there.
“But it’s so hard to save in your 20’s and 30’s—you’re just getting started in your career, paying back student loans, trying to buy a house, and starting a family!”
Not going to disagree with that. But do whatever you can to find a way to start investing, and remember that even seemingly small amounts make a difference. Unfortunately, too many people tell themselves it isn’t possible and then do everything they can (consciously or not) to prove themselves right. Instead, try flipping the script. Ask yourself “How could I save a little bit right now? What might that look like?” Even if it’s just contributing enough to your 401(k) to get the company match, that’s a brilliant start, and the future you will be thanking you someday.
So there you have it, 8 things we got wrong about the FIRE movement. And now I’ll ask you: