Take a Flamethrower to These 3 Money Stories—They Are Keeping You Broke.
Money stories are the beliefs you have about money.
What is a money story?
A money story is a personal belief that you have about money. These beliefs are formed through your money experiences until this point and determine your ability, or inability, to manage money.
Unfortunately, many of the money stories we have are handed down generationally by our family, who may or may not be the best at managing money, and may have some unhealthy money habits or beliefs they are carrying. Often, these stories develop when we’re young and have a limited understanding of money, then brought into our adult lives, where they can negatively impact our ability to manage money and reach our financial goals.
So let’s explore some of the most common negative money stories people have and discuss why it might be beneficial to let them go or rewrite them.
1. I’m just bad at money.
Time to get out the flamethrower.
Odds are you’ve either heard it, or you’ve said it, as this is by far the most common negative money story people have. Often, people listen to their parents, friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, or siblings mutter these five words before adopting them as their own destructive money mantra.
Let’s debunk this garbage once and for all.
“I’m just bad at money.” implies that your ability to manage money is a fixed trait you can never improve. It implies that you would always be bad at money no matter how much you learned about money management. When they look at it that way, I think most people realize that this story is entirely false, and money management is a skill, like anything else, they can improve through education and practice. It’s time to rethink this money story and adopt a growth mindset instead. Remember that you can get better at anything you want to in life, given the correct amount of time and effort, and money is no exception.
So if you’re carrying this money story with you, feel free to torch it. I promise you if you keep telling yourself this story, you will keep getting the same results: being bad at money. But if you decide to torch it or even rewrite it, you may be surprised with what you can learn about money and maybe eventually become “good” with money.
Here are a couple of rewrites:
I’ve struggled with money in the past, but I am getting better.
I am learning about money and improving my relationship with it every day.
I am a master of money. (Hell yeah, you are!)
I am changing my family tree when it comes to money. ←Powerful stuff right there.
2. Rich people got rich by ripping someone off.
There are many variations of this money story, but the gist is this: many people think that being rich implies you are a bad person. It is easy to justify this belief because, more than likely, you know a rich person who fits this description. That said, first of all, not all rich people are jerks, and second, not all rich people ripped someone off to become rich. I would even wager that the vast minority are jerks, and the vast minority ripped someone off to become rich.
In addition, if you believe that having money means you are bad or ripped someone off, do you think you’ll be able to attract money into your life? Odds are, you will consciously or subconsciously repel money and do everything you can to get money out of your life to make sure you remain “a good person.”
If you’re interested in re-writing this story, consider using this instead:
Having money does not make you a bad person, and many people have made their money in honest ways.
3. Screw saving for the future! I could die tomorrow.
YOLO. While I agree you could die tomorrow—you could also live until you’re 90 and wish you weren’t so damn broke while trying to live off of a Social Security check that’s too small and living in your son’s basement.
Odds are, you’re going to live much longer than tomorrow, with the average life expectancy in the US being just under 80 years old.
This money story only serves to appease your desire to spend in the moment, with no concern for your future self. So do yourself a favor and hedge your bets by setting aside a portion of your earnings, ideally 10–20% if you’re on a traditional retirement journey OR 50–70% if you’re reaching for FIRE, and ensure that you will be set up for success down the road.
So consider ditching this money story and replacing it with something like this:
Nothing is guaranteed, so I will spend my money intentionally while also setting aside some for the future.
So there you have it, three money stories that you are better off taking the flamethrower to than carrying around for the remainder of your life.
Remember, money is just a tool. It’s not good or bad—it is an emotionless tool. We are the ones who attach all of these emotions, judgments, and stories to money. If you’re feeling blocked in your financial life, it may be a good time to examine the stories you’ve been telling yourself about money and determine whether they’re serving you or not.